


what seemed wrong looks more like right

by helsinkibaby



Category: The Flying Doctors
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Het Relationship, F/M, Fix-It, Het, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 21:24:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13016430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helsinkibaby/pseuds/helsinkibaby
Summary: Rowie realises she's made a massive mistake.





	what seemed wrong looks more like right

**Author's Note:**

> I will never be over what they did to Johnno and Rowie and apparently doomed to either ignore the canon totally or write ways in which they get back together. This is the latter - a look at how things might have gone if Johnno had indeed tried to move on with someone else and how Rowie might have reacted. 
> 
> For fic promptly,   
> https://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/562546.html?thread=16500082#cmt16500082  
> Any, any, a massive mistake

When Rowie gets out of her car at Johnno’s place, she doesn’t have to see him to know where he is. Hidden behind the trees and the fence he might be but the solid thunk of an axe hitting wood, said wood falling either to the ground or on top of an already cut pile, travels clearly through the air. She makes her way towards the source of the sound, smiles as Stevie Ray bounds up to get her, his tail wagging a mile a minute, his tongue lolling out as he jumps up to greet her. Laughing she bends down, rubs his ears and scratches his head, accepting the warm welcome. 

She has a feeling it’s the only one she’s going to get. 

When she reaches Johnno, there’s a frown on his face, his lips set in a thin line. He’d known it was her, she thinks, probably by Stevie Ray’s reaction and he confirms as much with his first words. “Mutt always did like you best.” 

Any impulse to laugh, to even smile, vanishes at the tone of his voice, at the look in his eyes when they meet hers. There’s a flatness there and, burning brighter behind that, an anger. It’s something she’s never seen in him before, not even just before they’d first got together and his whole flying career was at risk. Just like that, she knows the unpleasant task she’s here to perform just got a lot more unpleasant. 

“You’ve heard.” 

His lips tighten even more at the two simple words. He turns away from her, sets another piece of wood on the chopping block, swings his axe up over his shoulder and brings it down with a resounding smack. The wood splinters, one piece flying off and landing some three feet in the opposite direction. Johnno doesn’t look at it, instead swings the axe again, embedding the blade in the chopping block. “Yeah,” he says, bringing his arm up to wipe his forehead. “Geoff mentioned it. He thought I knew.” 

Rowie keeps back a wince with the greatest of difficulty, knowing she has to apologise to Geoff as well. That’s a position she never wanted to put him in. “I wanted to tell you-” she begins but the noise he makes - too harsh to be called a laugh - brings her up short. 

“Don’t worry about me. Why would I need to be told? I’m just the pilot, isn’t that it?” 

She feels as if he's just thrown a bucket of cold water over her, as if he's slapped her. "That's not-"

"Sure it's not." He doesn't let her finish, shakes his head and looks around. "I don't know why I'm surprised, you never did tell me how you were feeling, it's nice to see some things don't change." 

Swallowing hard, Rowie takes a step back. She didn't think he'd be this upset and suddenly this whole conversation seems like a huge mistake. She's always known Johnno was impulsive, a hothead she'd called him once, seconds after their first kiss. He acts before he thinks, speaks from the heart, he always has - it's one of the things she admires about him. 

Just like she also knows that sometimes, he says things he doesn't mean when he's upset and sometimes, it's best to give him time alone to come to terms with things before trying to talk to him. 

"I shouldn't have come-" She takes another step back but he's not having that either. 

"That's right, Rowie, run away. It's what you're good at, isn't it?" 

She stops in her tracks, couldn't move if she wanted to. "What's that supposed to mean?" She can feel her own temper starting to flare just underneath the surface. 

"It means you ran away from here the second you could to go to medical school, left Joe Peterson even though you know he wanted to marry you. You ran away from me on our wedding day, and for weeks after that before we finally called things off. God knows what you're running away from now, but leave me out of it, eh?" 

Maybe his impulsiveness is infectious because the words fly from her lips before she can stop them. "I didn't think you'd care. You've got Beth now." She just about manages to keep the jealousy out of her voice, the same jealousy that's been seething under the surface even since the town party for Captain Cooper's book, the first time that she'd seen Johnno and the pretty blonde nurse getting cosy together. She'd told herself that it was none of her business, that Johnno was a good man, that he deserved to be happy. But in the weeks since, as they'd become more and lore of a regular item around town, she'd found that a lot harder to do. 

She's torn from her thoughts by another one of those harsh barks. "Not any more." Rowie blinks, surprised, because not two nights ago, she'd seen them in the pub together, wrapped up in one another, oblivious to the rest of the town giving them knowing looks. She hadn’t been so lucky, couldn’t miss the sympathetic looks people were sending in her direction - well, mostly sympathetic, a few more of the “told you so” variety - and she’d known right then and there that she couldn’t cope with a lifetime of that. She’d have put money on Johnno and Beth being engaged before the year was out and before she can ask what happened, he tells her. "I broke it off." 

"Why?" Once more, the word tumbles from her lips without her having a chance to think about it, certainly to stop it. 

Johnno doesn't answer, not at first. Instead he looks up to the sky as he rubs his hands over his face. "Might as well tell you, it's not like I'm going to have to face you for much longer." She opens her mouth, then closes it again just as quickly as his words register. Her heart begins to pound with something that could be fear, could equally be something else. "I broke it off with Beth because I'm still in love with you. And I've tried, Rowie, I've tried very hard not to be. Even thought I wasn't anymore. Then Geoff told me you were leaving and the thought of you not being here..." He stops, shakes his head again and breaks her gaze, his hand going to the handle of the axe. "Beth deserves better than that," he concludes. 

"Johnno-"

She's not sure what she wants to say but apparently he doesn't want to hear it, holds up his hand to forestall it. "You don't have to say anything." His knuckles are chalk white on the axe. "I know how you feel, you made yourself clear. We're mates, OK? I get that. It's not your problem."

She wants to tell him to shut up. She wants to sob. She wants to scream the words at the top of her lungs, throw herself at him and beat her fists against his chest as she cries in his arms. 

What she does is take a step towards him. 

"When I first saw you with Beth," she hears herself say, "I didn't know how I felt. I mean, I knew you'd move on eventually, I guess I just wasn't prepared... and every time I saw the two of you together, I'd get this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I couldn't shake..." Johnno's looking at her again now, his brow furrowed, his expression wary. But he's not walking away from her and he's not telling her to stop talking so she keeps going, not sure of what she's going to say but knowing that she just has to keep going. "By the time I figured out that it was plain old jealousy, I thought it was too late. That the two of you were getting serious... that I’d made a massive mistake and I was going to have to see the consequences every day of my life. And you're right, you are... I did what I always do, I got ready to run."

Johnno's expression has shifted somewhat, she realises. It's still wary, but with a hefty bit of confusion thrown in too. "What are you saying?" 

Rowie closes her eyes, clenches her fists but the words come easily, easier than they ever have, easier than she ever could have expected. "I'm saying I was scared before. I never expected to meet someone like you in Cooper's Crossing, I wasn't ready for it. And you got there before I did and I let you sweep me along and then I froze and I ran... and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I should have talked to you. I should have tried to figure things out... I mean..." She stops, because that's not entirely right. "I did have things to figure out about me. But I shouldn't have pushed you out. I shouldn't have pushed you away. I'm saying I was wrong. You made me happier than I've ever been." That last is said quietly, so quietly that she can barely hear her own words over the beating of her heart. "And I'm sorry I threw that away." 

Johnno sucks in a ragged breath. "You can't say something like that to me, Rowie," he tells her. 

The sun is beating down on the two of them but Rowie suddenly feels very cold. Numb almost. She nods, because of course he was going to say something like that. Even if he does still love her, like he said, he's not going to want to be with her, not after how she treated him. She can't blame him either, after all, part of the reason she's finally getting the gumption up to go travelling is because she can't face living with the reminder of it every day. "Of course," she says, turning away from him and taking a step towards her car. Hopefully she'll make it there before she breaks down in tears. "I understand. I'll go-"

She doesn't hear footsteps behind her but she stops with a gasp when his fingers close around her wrist and he pulls her back, spins her to face him. "I mean, you can't say things like that to me and not expect me to do this." 

Then his lips are on hers and he's kissing her like it's all he's been thinking about doing for months, all he wants to do for the rest of his life. His hands cup her cheeks, move so that they're running through her hair, down her back, touching her like he's learning her body and she's so stunned that when she winds her arms around his neck, it's as much for balance as from passion. Then when it hits her that this is really happening, she opens her mouth under his with a half-gasp, half-sob which he takes as an invitation to deepen the kiss, sliding his tongue across her lips and she's not complaining, not in the least. In fact, she goes a little bit weak in the knees and holds him tighter and she thinks she feels his lips curl up in a smile, like he knows the effect he's having on her. 

He's never going to let her live that down, she knows. 

She just doesn't care. 

When he pulls back, it's far too soon for her liking but he rests his forehead against hers and they're both gulping huge breaths of air. He's smiling though, and she knows she is too, feels giddy with a combination of joy and relief. 

"We have to talk," she hears him say and she nods. "Really talk." He emphasises the first word. "I know we do." One hand curls over her shoulder, slides over and down, pressing their lower bodies closer together. She shivers. "But... just for now..." 

For once, they're in total agreement. "For now," she says as she pulls him close and kisses him again.


End file.
